I made a huge decision, many years ago, to leave the traditional work world in pursuit of furthering my higher education. Fear and uncertainty plagued me about my decision, but what kept me going was the ability to just sense I was moving in the “right” direction.
It was NOT easy. It was not without bumps and derailments along the way. Making changes to alter life is filled with lots of road blocks, false starts and uncertainty. It is not a linear or straight line path to the finish. It is challenging. It does mean certain sacrifices have to be made. The biggest of which, for me, was giving up the identity by which I had lived my life and struggling through years of uncertainty about the person I was to become and the direction I was to follow.
Never easy, and if it had been, I am not sure I would have made the choices I made along the way. I have always been the kind of person who “learns the hard way” as some might say. I prefer to say that I learn from my mistakes and have learned to make more and more of them in order to grow/evolve into the person I am today!”
More importantly, I learned that there is no such thing as a “right or wrong” choice. They are simply choices. That was a super hard lesson for me to grasp, as it was ingrained in me from childhood by my parents and my parochial school education that there were only good choices or bad choices. I could CHOOSE to be good, or CHOOSE to be bad, but the choice was mine to make. I lived with the fear and anxiety that this type of narrow-minded thinking engendered. It definitely contributed to the panic attacks I experienced (see my About Me page) in my life when faced with the harsh reality of being in a career that no longer held promise for me.
I struggled to find my way. It was tough. Were it not for the support of family and my spouse, who was then my boyfriend, I am not sure how I would have managed. Through this entire process though, I learned to turn toward myself more often and listen with not just my heart, but my entire body. There were some harsh realities I had to face, people I needed to forgive to move forward, and places I had to find that nourished me in ways that went beyond money and career. It took months and years but I, as the saying goes, “kept on keeping on!”
So. Here I am today. Still learning and still growing and STILL making mistakes.
The biggest difference for me, was learning and continuing to learn, how to incorporate all aspects of mindfulness into my every day life. Taking more pauses. Listening more, and talking less. Being present to life in all its messy madness and not hiding behind a mask or facade. Allowing my authentic voice to come through and learning how to feel fear, insecurity, low self esteem, etc and “do it anyway!”
There is such profound wisdom that resides in all of us. Learning to give ourselves those quiet, reflective, and insightful moments keeps us going. No one ever said life was easy. It’s not. Choices need to be made all the time that impact the direction and focus of your life. Sometimes, along the way, you may need to find your own places to nourish yourself body, mind and spirit, just as I did and continue doing.
Mindful Presence Reiki is there for you when you need it. It is a chance to not “do” but simply “be.” No goals. No expectations. Bring yourself all the uncertainty and confusion about life. Be still. See where it leads and trust yourself to know what you need and when you need it.